April 7 2018

THE MONTH.

Life's a constant source of learning. If you live another day and don't find anything out about yourself, your best friends or human beings in general, you have probably been walking around with too many of your senses shut off.

And yet, for those of us who are always on red alert in all senses, surprises still happen. You think you know someone, you meet, chat, talk, listen and learn and put them into one of those compartments you have assembled over many years. They seem to possess all the correct attributes to be friend, acquaintance, lover, soul-mate or just “passing through”. You note down, mentally, all the facts.

And then, suddenly, without any warning, you feel them moving into a compartment they shouldn't be in. But they fit; they fit better than any before. Everything feels right, even perfect and still you won't believe it. It can't be. There is an alien factor. Something shouldn't be where it is. You know it; experience tells you. Experience that quality you now love to exploit; after all it took you long enough to acquire and enough heartache and pain on the way.

Experience tells you to stop and yet, inside you, is that streak that you have always had. The one which says, go on, try it. Let's face it, if experience is the quality you now value, surely a new one is exactly the right thing to do. How stupid it should also being telling you to stop.

So where do we go? Somewhere new which, if you try it, may completely collapse or stop or deny yourself a new experience and fail to answer another question you had been asking. An infectious desire to learn; your phrase. An infectious disease; so could you become contaminated, could you be suffering an illness? And finally, you know that although with that experience of life you can see where things may go, others may not. Or have you got that wrong too. Is something wanted but not asked for; hoped for but not explained. If you want someone to show an interest in you, show an interest in them.

If my heart stops beating, then all life will eventually fail. If my brain stops working I could exist in some vegetative state from which, who knows, I might one day return. Head or heart is really a very stupid question. I love life and it must go on.