TASHY TRAVELS

Every Sunday, I am going to upload a post about the different countries I have visited and/or lived in since 2002.

I can assure you of some interesting stories.

THAILAND - PART FIVE

Koh Phangan, the party island. Backpackers out-numbered tourists. Parties, parties and parties from early night to early morning. None of which cause me any problems. The drug culture that seems to go with this is another matter and one I may touch on in a later blog in New Zealand.

However, when we arrived, in March 2004, it did seem that the parties caused a bit of a problem to the Thai authorities. We were told, on arrival, that the government had just passed a law which said no music could be played after 1.00 am. So, Friday night, with my party friend well in the groove, the music stopped, just like that. I have said many times before that this house, funk, techno, drum and bass, type music (are you impressed?) tends to produce a few, well many, weird dancers but if these people would continue when there is no music, the drug culture is even greater than I assessed. It would be a bit like playing football without the ball and not noticing it.

Luckily, nearly everyone stopped and just sat around and talked for a couple of hours. I’m sure it wasn’t in their plan but I think the Thai government has given the art of conversation a great boost. The question is how long would it last? People who come to party, will not be happy at only having an hour or so. Saturday, we thought, will be better. However, we got a brief idea of a possible snag here when we met some guy in the street and he said he had just had a meal, tried to buy a drink and been told that there was an election so they could not serve alcohol. Presumably it affects the judgement; Florida please note. This was in my notes, I tried satire even then.

We ate, we don’t need alcohol so it didn’t bother us, and went down the beach about 10.30pm. Nothing. Fewer people than at an Eskimo naturist beach. There was absolutely nothing on, like at an Eskimo….oh I said that. Nothing could be seen just like……….

By Thursday night all had returned to normal, only don’t tell anyone. Parties were going on longer, everyone was happy and my little friend could bop, groove, gyrate, wiggle and jump to her heart’s content. By the way, at these places they serve some drinks in a bucket, the sort kids have on the beach to build sand castles. The sight of grown men carrying around these little buckets must not be missed and some of the buckets are pink. With pink straws too.

Here in Koh Phangan they don’t just have parties, they have events. All along the front, at Haad Rin Beach, there are bars and the world-famous full moon parties attract up to 15,000 people. They also have half-moon parties and black moon parties, so my notes say, but somehow we managed to avoid all of them. We only had 6 days there and the moon was not in synch with our schedule.

Nevertheless, by this Thursday, our last night, the parties they did have seemed pretty well attended. There were young Thai guys who performed with fire sticks and other things that they set alight. You would think this was part of the “don’t try this at home” idea but, later on, they set fire to a hoop and people, if those who seem to lack even a small amount of intelligence can be referred as such, leapt through the hoop. I took several pictures and this first one shows a guy, fairly early in proceedings, still able to appreciate that to get through a hoop, a foot or so off the ground, you will need to leave the ground.

Later on and things, and people, get worse. This guy had been bragging to his mates at how easy it was. If you study this photo closely, even if you are not a gymnastics coach, you will be able to see that his feet are not going to leave the ground. Sure enough, a millisecond later, he was lying straddled across a burning hoop. The Thai guys, obviously experienced at this, leapt down and smothered the flames. The guy seemed unperturbed, initially, although, seeing which part of his anatomy hit the flames, his girlfriend, if he had one, may not be so unworried. He would nevertheless look OK on that Eskimo beach. A few minutes later I saw him in the bar and he didn’t look quite so cocky and may have changed his religion.

We were in the south of the island and you only have to walk about 100 metres from one side, called Sunrise (guess why) to the other side called Sunset (if you got the last bit right this will be easy). We walked along the sunset beach one night and there were quite a few people scrapping around in the sand and putting minute shellfish into buckets. We asked what they were doing and they told us they were putting hoy into their buckets. I have no idea how it was spelt but that is how it sounded. Sorry about the picture quality but it’s all I have.

While on Koh Phangan, we had our second Thai massage. I realise I haven’t told you about the first, which happened in Bangkok. It was down a side-street (wrong) and the people were laid out next to each other on the floor mattresses and were being pressed, or put in most peculiar positions, by their Thai masseurs. We were greeted by a tall Frenchman who was quite happily allowing a small Thai man to bend him in all directions. Monsieur Chatouiller, just reminded me of him and I hope my French is as good as I think, said it was really good and we were invited upstairs (still wrong). My girlfriend was given loose Thai shorts to put on and we got an hour’s massage in a room full of Thai people, obviously choosing this way to relax after work or treating it as a social meeting. It was a full body massage and started from your feet with a little accupressure and then each part of your anatomy is pressed and pulled and twisted. I can’t say parts of it didn’t hurt but I was pleasantly surprised nothing came off in the Thai lady’s hand. Afterwards my girlfriend told me the lady was a man but I never got that intimate nor allowed him/her to be either.

The massage in Koh Phangan I limited to my feet, as the other parts of my body were still partly in the wrong position following the earlier one. The masseur this time was most definitely female and later she led us across the road to a steam sauna. We were shut in a little hut, removed all our clothes, as instructed, and gradually cooked in the steam that poured into the room from a couple of pipes. Steaming is supposed to be a healthy way of cooking vegetables and, although I don’t classify myself as such, I did feel better afterwards.

I also felt better on that last night as we walked along the beach to our chosen bar. At the time, I thought I was pretty lucky having a much younger, beautiful girlfriend and as we walked hand-in-hand, four English guys approached us and asked me if this was, indeed, my girlfriend. I said yes and they then walked backwards in front of us all the way along the beach, gently bowing down every few steps. Later, one of them tried to show me how he could hold a light bulb, that had been on for about 8 hours and burned his hand, but at this earlier stage, they were fairly sober. Mother used to say ‘beauty is only skin deep’. Mother said a lot of things and they will probably appear quite often in my writings too. She was right. I was still learning though. Still am, I think. By the way, this picture, taken at sunset on Koh Phangan, is one of my favourites.

Now let me sum up Thailand. I went to Thailand wanting to like it. My girlfriend loved the place and had told me of the really great times she had experienced there. Also, I love new experiences, so, in that respect, it was fantastic but, and maybe I should have spotted the warning signs, we didn’t seem to have similar reasons for being there. I am always looking for both perfection and beauty in people and also in my life. Thailand certainly wasn’t perfect and, like Australia before, it, lacked real beauty. It looked great superficially but, underneath, it was lacking, and even had bits I didn’t really like. Thinking of my life, if Thailand had been a person I might have gone out with it for a while but once I knew more, it would have failed my test. Oh, and these days (2016), I now know that how something, or someone, may look isn’t a sufficient method of finding beauty. As for perfection….. you are joking aren’t you? But I’m still looking.

In Thailand we talked to many different people and I watched many others. It’s one of my favourite hobbies, people-watching. I taught communication skills for many years and I am a great believer in the fact that communication is never just about what is said. It is how it is said, the intonation, and also the body language, the mannerisms, even the stance taken. If you ever get the chance to watch a TV programme called ‘Lie to me’, do. It says it all.

So, what did I notice? Thai people smile a lot. We were told that there are different types of smiles in Thailand. All these different smiles on different occasions have their own names but as most of you probably don’t speak Thai, and Thai people know this anyway, I will omit the names. What I can tell you, is that if someone is embarrassed, does a stupid thing, can’t understand or help you, then they give you a smile too. At the same time they may say yes but, after a while, you get used to the fact that yes is not always a positive answer to your question but just politeness and part of the agreeable nature of Thai people.

In Thailand life seems very slow. No one hurries anywhere, things take time, and no one gets upset because they have to wait for something. We found out from talking to people, and our observations, that people work very long hours. You will find the same waiter at 9 in the morning and at 10 at night, the same masseur the whole day long till midnight. It is very long hours at work but the work isn’t necessarily too hard. In some massage places we passed, workers were either asleep or sewing; in some internet places the guy was watching TV, playing computer games or eating dinner; in the shops people ate, played cards and, again, watched TV or video. All of the family seem to hang around in these places too. Wherever you go, be it a shop, restaurant or even a construction site, there are some kids playing around, asleep or being fed. In some places you can’t even tell if it’s a house, a shop, or even a small workshop. Everywhere, though, you will notice that people chat and quite often giggle and seem to have great fun.

I said life goes on slowly here; sometimes it actually feels like time has stopped especially if you sit down in a bar or restaurant and, even when we were there at the end of March there were Happy New Year and Merry Christmas decorations. For Thais, the timing of the message seems unimportant. I noticed that Thais tend to live in open houses – wide open doors and windows without glass or curtains. Things are left lying around and, sometimes, shops are left without assistants and they don’t seem to worry that something might be stolen. There is, however, a contradiction here. Sometimes, it may feel as though you are being robbed as the taxi driver or salesman suggest a price that is three times more than it should be. I particularly didn’t like the fact that though there are fixed rates for certain distances in a taxi, if you want to come back to some more remote places at night, you may find that you are expected to pay five times the price.

The reason for setting high initial prices for products and services is because bargaining is expected. They tell you 200, you know it should be 100 and you usually get it for 100 or maybe 80 if you are lucky or not in a hurry. We asked someone if the constant bargaining isn’t upsetting to Thais and we were told not at all. ‘You should bargain’, he said, ‘but it depends how it is said’. ‘You should be gentle in your dealings with others’, he added.

When I had the foot massage in Koh Phangan, the young masseur talked to us afterwards while she walked us to the sauna. We asked her what foreigners, and there are plenty of them here, did wrong or when was their behaviour not polite enough for Thais. She said there were certain things that are very offensive and one of them is putting your feet up and showing the bottom of your feet to others or even pointing with your foot at someone. The foot is the lowest part of your body and you should not put it up or in front of others as this is a sign of disrespect. Similarly, you should not touch someone else’s head because this is regarded as the highest part of the body. It is almost sacred.

She said that the behaviour of foreign visitors was often too loud and aggressive. Thais are quiet, never raise their voices or argue in public but also walk gently and quietly. The girl told us that her grandma would tell her not to make so much noise while walking and everyone at her home moved around very softly. She also said that young people had to give respect to their elders. ‘If you pass an older person, you do not look at them, you keep your head down’, she told us. However, just as I was thinking this was a good idea and would avoid strangers ogling me, she added, ‘it’s only people you know, you don’t need to do it to everybody. We listen to our parents and grandparents. We are their children the whole life’.

This attitude came home to us many times. Some people we met had left their homes and moved to the islands to find a job but many of the young people, who stayed in their town or village, stayed in their parents’ house for a long time, sometimes their whole life. Parents have a say in everything, and not long ago, there were still arranged marriages when the young people didn’t even know each other but married according to their parents’ wishes. It may still happen in some tribal communities in the North, we were told, but even though this practice doesn’t exist any longer in most places, young people still listen to their parents when choosing a future spouse, their studies or a job.

Politeness and showing respect is very important in Thai culture. Whilst you do not need to lower your eyes to all older people, you still show respect to everybody who is older than you or holds a more important position in society or work. In relations between people, traditionally, someone always takes the position of ‘the big person’ and someone ‘the little person’. A person has the status of ‘big person’ automatically if they are the adult in an adult/child relationship, the employer in an employer/employee relationship or the older person in a school or class. What is more, people in the military take preference over civilians and, not unnaturally, Thais take preference over foreigners.

In return for respect and obedience towards this ‘big person’, the ‘little person’ can expect care and certain benefits; almost a mentor/sponsorship arrangement. In these situations an important factor is money. A person who has more money and a better career is expected to pay the bills. You can see it in the restaurants, for example, and what’s important is that the ‘little person’ shouldn’t protest against this practice or try to change it but let the ‘big person’ pay the bills however much it would be. If they don’t, the ‘big person’ could lose face. This applies only to people who know each other well and shouldn’t be confused with charity or caring for the poorer groups of society.

In many places there are double prices – a lower one for Thais and a higher for all foreign visitors, who, as they can afford to come to Thailand, obviously have more money. This attitude may seem unfair and may look as though Thais are trustful and honest on one hand but out to make a quick baht and use foreigners on the other. However this attitude can be partly explained by this social relationship. The foreigner is simply treated in general as a ‘big person’ because of their economic status and is expected to cater for Thais and contribute to their welfare. This can be confusing as being non-Thai, the foreigner is automatically put into the lower rank. Maybe this explains the taxi fares I mentioned earlier. Perhaps you are a bigger person in the night and I want no comments here, especially from that guy who set fire to his assets failing to jump through the hoop.

Many things are surprising here but, though it may be difficult to understand all the social relationships between Thai people and their attitude to each other and factors that influence it, one thing is fairly clear. Something, which in other countries may be called inequality and regarded as an unfair class division is, in Thailand, accepted and people were happy with it.

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