TASHY HEARS

TAKE MY HAND FOR A WHILE

I think the reason for the failure of my relationships is in this song. “The love I counted on was never there”. You don’t humiliate someone you love in public, even in fun. You don’t ignore their feelings. You try to understand why they have their problems and, most of all, you never assume that they think or react in the same way you would. I have been told so many times that something I have said means something it doesn’t and all because the other person assumed my feelings, thoughts went along the same lines as theirs. Do you follow that? I do, but, then again, I wrote it. Sadly, for all concerned, I need perfection in everything.

As soon as these things happen, my little dream, “the love and pretty dreams that two should share”, is over. I can stay, I can still be nice and happy but the reason I started the relationship is no longer there. Unfortunately, the little thing that broke the magic spell is seldom known to the outside world, and often not to the other person it would seem. I once wrote 70 poems about a love affair that wasn’t there. I made the other person into what they could have been but weren’t. Now I know why they so loved those poems.

The song is written by Buffy Sainte Marie, who is, according to wikipedia, a Canadian-Amercian Cree singer-songwriter, musician, composer, visual artist, educator, pacifist, and social activist. Quite a busy life then and also, I have to admit, the reason that one of the lines in the song I wrote for the old project I developed, was about the northern lights and the Cree Indians. I understood that to the Cree Indians, the northern lights were the spirits, so someone, at the end of their life, would “dance with northern lights”.

Originally I was linking to Buffy Sainte Marie’s version of this song, but, while finding that I found another one. The English language sung, or spoken, by a natural French speaker, is, to me, the most beautiful of languages. Francoise Hardy was, and is, an incredibly beautiful woman and I accidentally borrowed her tune for one of the songs I wrote. She hasn’t complained yet so I thought I should put her version up as well.

After I posted this last time someone questioned my use of the word perfection. When I talk of perfection, I mean perfect within my needs not perfect as a whole. For example, if I were to wallpaper my lounge, then the colour chosen could be within wide parameters and still be perfect. However, each join would need to be exact and no air bubbles, even hidden behind the sideboard. The same is true of my relationships. I do not have a rule for a perfect figure, a perfect height; the parameters are wide. But I must have total honesty, understanding, and disagreements should be solved by discussion not argument. I need an acceptance of facts, an ability to be creative, some spontaneity and the wish and desire to solve a problem not avoid it. In fact, I may have turned Mr Maslow, and his triangle, completely upside down but, as he’s dead, he may not mind. Perfection, I believe, is like beauty and completely in the eye of the beholder, which makes it more difficult for the other party.

Two for the price of one this week. Enjoy.

Buffy Sainte Marie

Francoise Hardy